I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
