is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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