i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
