Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
