SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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