I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
