Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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