I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
