I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
