why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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