im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Porn is love you can see.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
