Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
