"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
