White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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