I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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