Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
