the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
