I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
