Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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