Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
