i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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