then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize