You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm like, not good at living.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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