Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
