I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
