he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
