i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize