I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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