is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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