1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
