i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm both gender and math confused
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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