why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
