You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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