Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
