My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
