i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
