Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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