Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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