My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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