Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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