I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
