i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
