the new term for farting is butt boxing.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
