are you still at the devil's house?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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