Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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