I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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