why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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