oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
