I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
