Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
