oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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